Monday, July 2, 2012

The Burning Eye over the Flaming River of Tears


At the edge of time is the Eye.
It has no eyelid, it is open all the time.  Bloodshot, straining, stinging.
Its Iris is Fire, the fire of suffering is all it can see.
Reflected in its pupil is you and me.
This Eye cannot bear the visions that come to it,
and it lets out a constant stream of tears, each alight with the same fire that burns within the Eye itself.  These tears collect and run into a river.
The river is Time, a perfect mix of fire and water.
The water cannot extinguish the fire,
and neither can the fire entirely evaporate the water.

The mixture of smoke and steam arising from this river
irritates the Eye to keep the fire burning.
This continues upward and outward past the Eye, and collects into a terrible black cloud looming overhead.
The cloud, Ignorance, rumbles and thunders a great cacophany of utter chaos,
until suddenly out of nowhere a streak of lightning splits it in two
in a decision of lasting consequence, a choice for light and knowledge.
This strikes the Eye dead in the center, and starts it aflame.

No one knows how this cycle began, as it exists itself outside of Time.
But every age brings about a hero who will end it.

In our age, the hero must confront many demons in order to end the visions of suffering.
The challenges to confront and extinguish the Eye of suffering are nearly insurmountable.  The Eye is guarded at the four corners of the world by four demons:
Huma, the bird, who soars through and patrols the blackness in the skies above, picking apart anyone who dares fly at that level;
Therias, the beast, who delights in the earthly spectacle of torment and feasts on those bound to its trappings;
Fossor, the wailing fool, who vomits into the stream of tears;
Nandi, the bull, who feeds off the fires of burning anger below.

The skies are not safe.  Only chaos reigns supreme, with piercing talons and beak, to tear you up and knock you to the ground. Judgement to put you back in your place.
The earth will not hold steady, instead giving way to tremble and quake under the lightning and thunder.  The beast knows how to hunt you.  Guilt and shame overcomes the bravest warrior.
The waters will not lead you there, but swallow and drown you alive.  The demented clown will engulf you with fear and sadness.
The fire of passion consumes before it allows action.  If you fight the bull you will be speared alive.

The only path that brings safe passage is a perfect stillness, floating along with the flow down the flaming river, vanishing in the distance toward the horizon line between earth and sky.
In this way, rather than fight the four demons obliquely, one at a time,
one confounds them by taking them head on all at once, engaging them in play.
Then before you know it you are past all four of them.

Huma begins to ask Therias how it is that this hero is getting by??  Shouldn't the beast have shamed you from  even setting out on this journey?  How is it that you weren't turned back by feeling unworthy?
The beast blames the bird back for allowing you to slip right through under his skies!  Why didn't Huma swoop down and pluck you out of the water?  Was the demon too busy hovering in the dark clouds to look down in the waters below?
They begin to squabble with each other.
Fossor bemoans and wails at Nandi, wondering why he has not angered you, and the bull in turn is furious at the fool for not taking more action in causing you sadness and despair.
Together, the four notice what you have done in getting them all bickering at each other, and they collapse into fits of laughter at your cleverness.
You hail and salute them for propelling you down this path, thanking them for the only passage you could possibly make.

And at last, having passed safely beyond the four dangers simultaneously, the final, greatest danger of all stares you directly in the face.
The Eye, unblinking, unwavering, looking into the depths of your soul.  Pure visions of pain.  It sees every way you have ever hurt or could ever be hurt.  You dare not look back into its empty pupil, for fear of getting lost in unending confusion, of reflections upon reflections.  No, that is the surest way to madness.  Neither can you afford to glance directly at its burning tears, for the very same (un)reason, compounded with sheer emotional terror.  You've braved everything with a still heart and mind until this point, but seeing pure and complete torment reflecting endlessly in your own life would be too much to bear.

So you look away and lash out past the lashes, stabbing blindly with your Truth, a sword of finest steel dedicated to pierce the eye directly in the infinite reflection of that pupil of paradox.  One strike, a near miss (an actual hit??  a mere scratch), a second try, perhaps a slight hesitation?  Still swinging away wildly and without direction.

And then you take action, you make your decision, dead in the center, you stare it down.

So your third time with firm resolve you stab up at the Eye from down below, ends in a successful CRRRRRAAAAAAAACK, a bolt so sharp and pure that strikes your eye from above, and the lid is scorched away by this lightning, leaving you blind no more, forever to see, burning and tearing up at all the pain in the world, for eternity.

Now it comes to the Eye that the fire was compassion the whole time, the tears a soothing relief to flow and connect and share with others; the air and ground and demons all there as part of the fabric of the beautiful tapestry you've helped weave and been woven into; the judgement a gift to help create the story from and along with the other images; and the tapestry picture so beautifully telling your legend, immortalizing your hero's tale, which once bore the negative image of guilt, when flipped over displays nothing but a rainbow of gratitude.  But the Eye has always known this.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

We're travelling Light today (in the eye of the storm...)


Taking the road that goes west along Apache Blvd. curving around north to Mill Ave., I traveled around the bend from the free-roaming tribal life to the settlement of developed, empire culture.  From hunting and gathering, to toiling and milling.  "They call me the working man, I guess that's what I am."  But my bicycle, Rocinante, was in no Rush.  Adventure met us at every step of the journey.

Such as when I was instantly transported back to my Four Points Sheraton Navi Mumbai trip of earlier that month, as I passed by the Four Points Sheraton Tempe.  I always knew businesses or towns or any places with the same name were warp zone portals from one to the other.  This confirmed it.

I reasoned it this way: if consciousness -- in the form of some void-like ocean out of which arises the action of light: a recursive, self-organizing process of faint awareness which grows more complex with the growing out of increasingly complex forms manifest as matter, until it can finally turn in upon itself within that apex of complexity: the self-aware human brain -- is in fact the primary stuff of the universe; and space and time are later constructs, or the first rules, set out from there, from which everything subsequent needed to be constructed (up to now, with the Web!); and consciousness in action is literally light (stick with me here; you're a visitor in MY imagined space, where I have license to make these connections; especially true if you've read this run-on sentence up to the point of accepting my premise that consciousness is primary, meaning ideas come first, and the whole point is connecting them!);
AND light being more primary than space and time means light experiences traveling zero space in zero time (thus all light in the history of the universe could be said to originate as a single point/particle/wave within the void),
THEN: thinking, that great and yet flawed human gift of abstract, symbolic, self-aware consciousness, truly does transport one to other places and times.  Where anything is possible, because that self-reflective capability merely augments the very founding actions of creation/growing.

"Speeding through the universe, thinking IS the best way to travel".  (That'll probably do for song quotes.  I've reached my song quote quota per this post.  Now I'm all Moody.  With the Blues.  (now I've reached my quota for song quote artist references as well)).

The idea needs only attract enough space, time, energy, and matter to manifest.  This process is getting quicker and easier all the time as we build better tools.
At least that's why the Sheraton in Mumbai felt like a little pocket of "safe" America inside of India (with dirty stairwells.  That were wonderful and winding and semi-forbidden, and I took every opportunity I could).

Wet pillows on the chairs. Dental floss runs out.

Life has no meaning, except what we give it.  Metaphor, broken down: meta (over, across); phor from pherein (carry, bear).  It's why I'm so overbearing.

Something I've understood about what I called the Asshole Cycle years ago.  A decade plus ago, I noticed the pattern.  I follow it today.  I presume my awareness of its supposed intricacies make me better equipped to handle it and avoid it.  More to follow.  But FIRST...:

Going on a midnight bikeride adventure.  I'm up.  I'm all in for it.  WHO'S WITH ME?  *crickets*.  *crickets are with me.*  Yeah, that's right, I'm killin' it (TM Paul Crik but not really, he'd want to spread it, just like Jesus Pieces wanted to spread his candy-coated shell w/o having you jump through all the cASS(w)HOLEic hoops).

Anyway, gonna crawl inside something somewhere I've never been.  Will report back, with thoughts.  For now: MOTION.  (Will try not to get unrested).

* * * * * * *
Three weeks later?  My adventure took me out all night, beginning at home, going toward downtown Tempe, warping through four points in time and space to Mumbai, witnessing heaven('s escalator) and Judgement Day first-hand, prowling about the run-of-the-Mill places, meditating on the mountaintop, pooping on a golf course, and on to the next day with My Game (Chinese Checkers) and a Foresighted child of a Boar.  And a false-start penalty on first and goal of a job interview.  I trust that with the passage of time in between then and now, I can still get into the spirit and recall all that went on that wonderful night.  I choose to recount all the details in the story and connect the dots in the most entertaining way I know how.

I think part of this will be knowing it wisest to update in installments.  That is an awful lot of story to relate all in one go -- both from a writing, and a modern web-attention-deficit-addled mind's reading, standpoint.

I should employ more use of editing and cutting things out, but this Easy Installment Plan Method will in some way simulate the same thing ; D.  I shall henceforth endeavor to remain faithful to the spirit and tone set forth in this introductory portion,  (and keep rewarding the dedicated reader with more and further cliff-hangers in this serial format)!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

What is illness in the body of a knight errant?

Dark night of the soul?  Seems like about every other night these days.
This has to be about the scariest time yet to be alive.  And yet also somehow full of the most possibilities.
I'm not sure how to navigate this territory, but my mind seems to have completely cracked open.
Infinite possibilities are paralyzing, and reducing to mere probabilities is terrifying.
I know inside the way out of this is to:

  • meditate
  • laugh
  • give
  • write
  • explore


All of these have some kind of root in the increasingly prevalent idea (in my head?  In the world's?  Either way I'd say the outside is the same as the inside -- that's what happens when your head cracks open ; ) that there are no objects, only relationships.  Whatever we keep telling ourselves seems to be the way we end up living.  So I do some few good things, then I miss out on a day or two, or feel the pressures from the outside world, and all that came before gets connected in a new way, and instead of feeling like an enlightened guru, I feel like all I've been to everyone around me is just a crazy asshole!

I.e.: One day I talk about reconciling my opposites, playing gentle, harmless pranks on people while also at the same time doing something nice for them, which is the *wink*, to tell them I'm not really against them.  I know there has to be some kind of balance.  Some use of the ego along with being caring and giving.  So that is my justification for being myself.  I've always gotten kind of sarcastic and awful at people, so to avoid doing this, I fancy myself something of the Trickster and instead make a game of everything and this seems to ruffle some feathers, but really I'm trying to look for some way of giving of myself at the same time.

However, to someone living in fear -- which is entirely justifiable in the times we're in, and even now for me quite difficult to get out of -- the Trickster is merely the Devil.  And everything is serious.  And how dare I not participate in the story we're all supposed to be living: am I not grateful?  But the truth is I'm immensely grateful and couldn't do any of what I've done without the help of everyone else in my life and everything that came before me.  Does that obligate me to play the game the same way as everyone else, though?  Can I not do nice things just for the sake of being nice?  Not out of a sense of duty?  Maybe not.

The way I've tried to reconcile all this in the past -- at least the past few days, which have felt like weeks -- is to try to remember I don't know what I'm doing.  And that I don't really have control.  Not as a way of removing responsibility, which is really just being able to respond, but as a way of attempting to stay humble.  To remember that everybody is exactly how they need to be.  And this removes the need to play any joke.  And then I feel good about myself.  And realize I've been wrong about everything.  And when I feel good I get playful.  And when I'm playful, I start joking, and everything becomes a game.  Because sometimes that's the only way I can get through a lot of this shit.